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Tuesday, March 19th, 2013

Mar 19, 2013 -- 9:43am

 

TODAY'S GENIUS AWARD GOES TO . . . . . . .

    A Chicago teen, who accidentally shot himself in the groin and blamed it on ninjas. Initially, the 17 year-old told police he was outside when two men dressed in black and wearing Ninja masks jumped out of a van and shot him. When his story unraveled the boy, who has gang ties, told police he was driving in a vehicle with several female friends when he was playing with a gun and it discharged in his lap and struck him.

AND THEN THERE'S .....

    An unidentified man from Calgary, Canada, who punched a cop while being given a ticket and then fled the scene. But he already gave the officer his ID. The suspect was a light rail rider and was being ticketed when the attack happened on the transit platform. He struck the female officer then fled on foot... leaving his ID behind.

OR HOW 'BOUT .....

    Alfredo Malespini III, 31, who got into an argument with his wife and tried to remove his wedding ring. It wouldn't budge, so the federal prison guard got the brilliant idea to "shoot it off." The gunshot badly mangled his finger, but didn't remove the ring. Malespini was taken to the hospital, where he was treated for the gunshot wound.

OKAY, ONE MORE .....

    Melissa Townsend, 27, who won't win "mother-of-the-year" honors after she called 911 and asked dispatchers to send officers to scare her children. The mother of a one and three year-old told the 9-1-1 dispatcher, "I need a police officer to come out and scare the (expletive) out of my kids. They're not listening to me and they need to learn respect. They need to learn that lesson." The dispatcher advised Townsend they don't come out and scare kids, but did dispatch officers, who determined mom had too much to drink. Police said when they tried to arrest Townsend, she kicked an officer in the groin multiple times.

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